My Journey
‘Darkness woke her to sound and sight,
Darkness gave birth to a girl of light’
Contrary to the name, Lightdancer, my story wasn’t always filled with light. It was a dark and winding path that, despite the odds, led me to joy, light, and dance. Born of German, Hungarian, and French heritage I asked important, existential questions from an early age.
Questions, all of us are familiar with.
Who am I?
What am I?
How did I get here?
Where do I belong?
Despite my childhood being filled with darkness, intuitively I knew – I was filled with awareness of an ever-present light and wisdom, in nature, the forest was my playground. It was there that I felt safe. It was there that I came into direct contact with the Divine. It was there where I prayed and shared my dreams and fears…
Nature became my school of life. As it shared its eternal Wisdom with me. As the sun warmed my face, as the light shone through the branches of the trees the feeling of joy filled my heart for I knew;
“I knew the Light and Wisdom was inside of me”
At the age of 16, my life took a sudden turn, as I stepped into a Strength, Power, and Courage previously unknown to me.
○ at 16 I left home with nothing but my clothes on my back.
○ at 17 I took my father to court – for the abuse, I and my sibling endured.
From there on I was on my own… It would take me 30 years before I found myself led by my internal compass to return and face my family and the demons of my childhood. By which time I had already made my home in South Africa.
○ at the age of 49, I undertook the solo pilgrimage to Santiago de Compostela and the mountains of Kashmir.
Both of these journeys would have me stand in awe. The Camino was filled with the flashback of my childhood experiences. But more than that, I came into direct contact with my True Self, my Inner Wisdom.
○ I met my guardian angels, my demons, fear, guilt, and shame.
○ I came face to face with my ego
○ I laughed and cried in despair and with joy alike
○ I put my burdens down
○ I was on my way back home
“My Soul was being prepared for the Work that lay ahead…”
“What you have put down
does not belong
to you
any longer “
Spirit works in mysterious ways.
Together with my daughter, I was about to leave for a visit to India however, I longed for solitude, I was called by the voice of wisdom to travel to India on my own. Little did I know that this trip would lead me to the remote mountains of Kashmir. With a stranger, a Hindu taxi driver as my guide.
With seven locals, four donkeys, a horse for my guide the journey up the mountain began. Passing wild rivers, tiny gypsy villages we reached the top. Sitting under the moonlight one evening, a voice made itself known,
“How did you get here”
It was at that moment I knew the time had come to return to Germany and face the ever-present demons of the past. And with a deep sense of loss, I intuitively knew my marriage was about to end…